I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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