the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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