i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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