if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my sisters under your porch take her home
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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