You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
