I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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