no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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