i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
