It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
