she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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