White coat. Heels.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize