Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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