toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
