Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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