Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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