Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
