Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
