I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
last night I used snow as a chaser
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
