She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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