oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
