I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
