Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
