I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
...so i touched it.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize