You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
