what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
