She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
