Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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