I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bring me that man meat
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
