just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
