i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
