Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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