The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
