I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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