There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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