I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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