Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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