I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
