I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need a burrito and a hug.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
