I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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