it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
