Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
