We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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