I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
