I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
