Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
