WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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