i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
