My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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