I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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