i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
