yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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