Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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