How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
