worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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