38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
