when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I CAN MOONWALK!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
