His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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