i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize