The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
