You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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