i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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