I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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