Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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