woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
