everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
