i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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