Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
