I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
