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im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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