HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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