i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
