I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize