worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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