I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
