I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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