you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize