OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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