he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
